


Three Times Team TARDIS Got Turned into Kittens

by sahiya



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Animal Transformation, Crack, Gen, Humor, Kittens
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-20
Updated: 2011-12-20
Packaged: 2017-10-27 15:14:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/297215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sahiya/pseuds/sahiya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just what it says on the tin (or title, in this case).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Three Times Team TARDIS Got Turned into Kittens

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Yamx](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yamx/gifts).



> Happy Holidays, Yamx! I hope you enjoy this bit of kitten-themed fluff.

"But, Doctor, how is this even possible?" Rose demanded. She quickened her step to keep up with him, but it was hard to watch where she was going and keep hold of a very unhappy Jack. He was currently small and cute and fluffy, but he was also agile and surprisingly strong. "Stop struggling," she finally hissed at him. He glowered back but stopped trying to escape. "I mean, one minute he was Jack and the next minute he was a - a kitten."

"Transmogrifier," the Doctor grunted as he unlocked the TARDIS.

"What's that when it's at home?"

"It's a device that turns things into other things."

"But . . . a kitten?"

The Doctor turned to glare at Jack. "I expect our Jack flirted with the wrong person one too many times. Hard to be sexy when you're three pounds soaking wet, isn't it, lad?"

Jack's only reply was another dignified glower. Then, with his tiny kitten nose up in the air, he twisted round and tucked his head into the crook of Rose's neck. "I dunno, Doctor," Rose said, looking down at him. "He's awfully cute like this." Jack started purring, a warm rumble that Rose felt in her own chest. “So small and fluffy and harmless - ow!" Jack had sunk his claws into her arm and was looking up at her through narrowed eyes. "Okay, okay," she said, "not harmless! Cute and fluffy and very, very deadly."

The Doctor snorted. "It's still Jack, remember."

"I know, but it has to be scary, doesn’t it? To be trapped in such a small body, not able to communicate with anyone."

"He seems to be communicating just fine," the Doctor muttered.

"I think I'd better keep him close until he changes back," Rose concluded.

"Well, whatever you do, don't let him sleep on your bed," the Doctor said, glaring at the bundle of black fluff in her arms. "I won't be responsible for the consequences if you do."

The look Jack gave him this time was, Rose had to admit, annoyingly smug.

***

"Well, damn."

"You can say that again."

“Jackie is going to kill us."

"You, Doctor,” Jack said, patting the Doctor on the back. “Jackie is going to kill _you_. Me, she hasn’t even met." And from what he’d heard, charming her would not be terribly difficult.

" _Mrow_ ," Rose trilled, obviously in agreement.

"I know, Rose, I'm sorry," the Doctor said, crouching to pick her up. "I'll fix it, I swear. Everything's gonna be fine." She butted her orange head against his jaw. "But will you listen to me in the future when I tell you not to wander off?"

"But wandering off's the best part," Jack said with a grin. Rose gave another _meow_ of agreement, even as she looked as guilty as it was possible for a kitten to look (which wasn’t very).

The Doctor scowled. "Just for that, you get to kitten-sit while I figure out how to reverse this," he said, handing Rose off to Jack. She immediately crawled up his shirt to perch on his shoulder. "Don't let her get into any trouble! I'm holding you personally responsible!"

"Yeah, yeah, go play in the lab, Doc. We'll be fine here."

"I mean it, Jack! _Personally responsible!_ "

"Got it," Jack said. The Doctor headed off into the TARDIS, and Jack sat in the jumpchair with his feet up on the console. Rose rubbed her head against his, purring. "Well, kitten, guess it's just you and me," he said, and received a firm swipe to the cheek for his efforts. "Ow! All right, all right, no more bad jokes, I promise."

 _At least_ , Jack thought as Rose curled up in his lap for a - _ha_ \- catnap, _not out loud_.

***

Well, wasn't this just _fantastic_.

The Doctor had been transmogrified a time or two, but never into anything as small and cute as a kitten. A particularly fluffy kitten, with gray stripes, white boots, and a white chest. It was humiliating, that was what it was. And for the Captain to think he had to carry him back to his own TARDIS -

"Ow!" Jack yelped. "Doctor, you just _bit_ me!"

Rose sighed. "Give him here," she said, and grabbed the Doctor under his front legs to take him from Jack. "Doctor, stop being so ridiculous," she said, settling him against her chest. "It's not Jack's fault, what happened."

The Doctor grudgingly had to concede that she had a point, and he might’ve been a bit unfair to the lad. But being carried by Rose was . . . well, it was still humiliating, but it was also a definite improvement. Rose at least had some padding for him to lie on, and she was delightfully warm and smelled lovely . . .

The Doctor shook his head, fending off the kitten instincts that threatened to impinge on his good judgment. No matter who was carrying him, the situation was completely untenable. Once they got back to the TARDIS, he could - well, he could figure out a way to show Rose and Jack what to do to reverse this, since along with his dignity and his jacket he'd also lost his _thumbs_.

By the time they reached the TARDIS, the Doctor was even more irate and also damnably sleepy. "Don't worry, Doctor, we’ll figure something out,” Rose said, as Jack let them in.

“She’s right,” Jack said, and proceeded to _pat his head_. “It'll be fine.”

The Doctor hissed his displeasure. Rose sighed, which did fascinating things to the Doctor’s perch.

"Oh, don't start," Jack said. "We all know you’re enjoying sitting on Rose's breasts as much anyone would.”

"Oi!" Rose said, and hit him. The Doctor would have liked to scratch him, but it wasn’t as though Rose needed him to defend her honor. He settled for glaring and mentally promising restitution once he was restored to his usual self.

Come to think of it . . . why wait? Jack had a tendency to leave his shoes lying about. The Doctor thought he could feel a hairball coming on . . .

 _Fin._   



End file.
